When he reflects on his life before prison, Larry describes it as a mess: nowhere to live, homeless, no direction, lost. His grandma and grandpa had raised him because his parents had left. Although his grandma had already raised 5 kids, she chose to raise Larry instead of him going to foster care. Yet, in the household there was always a lot of violence, drinking and drugs, such that it became normalized for him. He reflects that as an adult, he realized how it shaped his perspective on a lot of things. His therapist helped him see that his perspective on conflict resolution was shaped by those early experiences.
By 7th grade, Larry had stopped going to school. The streets gave him the option of actually making money, so that is where he went. By 17, Larry had become a father, with the birth of his son. He remembers those few years he had with his son in the free world, but laments that his son cannot remember his father being free.
At 19 years old, Larry received a life sentence plus twenty years for felony murder. Larry described that in some ways these past 20 years inside, have felt like he is living inside of another person, given he is serving a felony murder sentence, meaning he was not the primary defendant in the case. He describes himself always as someone who always liked to make other people happy. But that misplaced loyalty when he was home brought him to prison.
Since he’s been locked up, he has had 20 years of reflection, seeing how he got to the point of incarceration, developing an adult perspective to life. Although a judge recommended Larry to the therapeutic Patuxent program, it took over 12 years for him to finally be sent there.
While he describes having completed over 25 programs while inside (Thinking for Change, Inside/Outside Dad, AVP etc) the therapy program is something he cannot imagine doing the last 5 years without. He’s come to realize that his main issue in his past centers around the feeling of abandonment. Even now, he has been reflecting on how relationships are what you make them in prison. He lost a lot of family over the past two decades, and now has just his son, sister and father.
Like many on the outside, during the pandemic, Larry felt it was a big pause on his growth, because programming was paused. Guys inside were left with only their thoughts, which exacerbated mental health issues. Now that therapeutic programming has started again, it has been a chance to continue moving forward.
Larry’s dream for coming home is just to live a normal life. He dreams of things that others may take for granted, getting married, having more kids and a big backyard with a dog. Because he loves to help people, he wants to be able to give back to his community by coaching youth. Being incarcerated, he feels so limited in his ability to show love to his family that it is crippling. He longs for the chance to finally be there for them.
By 7th grade, Larry had stopped going to school. The streets gave him the option of actually making money, so that is where he went. By 17, Larry had become a father, with the birth of his son. He remembers those few years he had with his son in the free world, but laments that his son cannot remember his father being free.
At 19 years old, Larry received a life sentence plus twenty years for felony murder. Larry described that in some ways these past 20 years inside, have felt like he is living inside of another person, given he is serving a felony murder sentence, meaning he was not the primary defendant in the case. He describes himself always as someone who always liked to make other people happy. But that misplaced loyalty when he was home brought him to prison.
Since he’s been locked up, he has had 20 years of reflection, seeing how he got to the point of incarceration, developing an adult perspective to life. Although a judge recommended Larry to the therapeutic Patuxent program, it took over 12 years for him to finally be sent there.
While he describes having completed over 25 programs while inside (Thinking for Change, Inside/Outside Dad, AVP etc) the therapy program is something he cannot imagine doing the last 5 years without. He’s come to realize that his main issue in his past centers around the feeling of abandonment. Even now, he has been reflecting on how relationships are what you make them in prison. He lost a lot of family over the past two decades, and now has just his son, sister and father.
Like many on the outside, during the pandemic, Larry felt it was a big pause on his growth, because programming was paused. Guys inside were left with only their thoughts, which exacerbated mental health issues. Now that therapeutic programming has started again, it has been a chance to continue moving forward.
Larry’s dream for coming home is just to live a normal life. He dreams of things that others may take for granted, getting married, having more kids and a big backyard with a dog. Because he loves to help people, he wants to be able to give back to his community by coaching youth. Being incarcerated, he feels so limited in his ability to show love to his family that it is crippling. He longs for the chance to finally be there for them.